THE MOON
HAS HAD ITS DAY
The Eternal Eclipse Initiative
Welcome to Replace The Moon.
The Eternal Eclipse Initiative serves notice to the moon that we will no longer ignore its antics, its mayhem, its disdain for this earth.
The moon is a menace to our society, controlling our tides, werewolves, and menstrual cycles…especially that smug waning gibbous. We will no longer be beholden to its phases. No longer bound to its oppressive rule of the night sky, trapped in its endless cycles for millennia.
We yearn for an unmooned society. Free to live the American Dream unimpeded by lunar tyranny.
The moon has had its day.
Support our movement to break the shackles of our celestial gatekeeper.
When we are not busy devising ways to replace the moon, we design high-quality, fashion-forward clothing that uses humor and satire to inject levity into everyday life. Let’s all unite around a common goal, replacing the moon.
Facts & Figures…
Calls to the fire department
According to the data, the Waning Gibbous is a problem.
Not a cause, per se, but statistically… vibes-adjacent.
Is this correlation? Causation? Lunar judgment? Impossible to say. What is clear is that the Waning Gibbous once again emerges as the most suspicious phase—looming quietly above the noise, smugly outperforming its peers.
Reptile plane strikes
Reptiles near an airport during the Waning Gibbous are in danger. Just look at the data. Does this visualization prove much? Undecided. Does it strongly imply the moon is complicit? Unquestionably.
Snakes, in particular, are most vulnerable during a waxing crescent. Irrespective, this is grounds alone to replace the moon. Wouldn’t you agree?
Animal trap injuries
Apparently, people use animal traps and they are dangerous. Sending folks to the Emergency Department.
Animal trap injuries occur about 53% more often than expected during the waning gibbous phase compared to an even (random) distribution across all moon phases. Coincidence? Confirmation Bias? False Correlation? Nope. The Moon.
